"I know! We have bagels! And brie! Do you want one?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want a whole one or half of one?"
"If you have a half, I'll eat the other half, but if you want a whole one, I can have a whole one too."
I go into the kitchen.
"Cheese or plain?"
"Are those the only options?"
"Yes."
"Cheese."
I cut a cheese bagel in half and throw it in the toaster. It comes out. I slather brie on one half and take it to Drew. I am working on the second half...
"Are you sure there's just cheese on these bagels?"
"What? I think so. The bakery was closed when we got to the grocery, remember? I just grabbed a bag of 'assorted bagels'. Why? What do you think is on there?"
I begin inspecting my half of which I have not yet had a bite...
"Is this..."
"Bacon? Yeah I think so."
"Ewewewewew. And Boo!" (You should know if you're new around here that I am a vegetarian.)
"Yeah, why? Why would someone do that? What would make you think to put bacon in a bagel?"
"Well, here. You get a whole bagel. And all the brie."
"I'm not sure I want it."
"Now what am I going to snack on?"
"They don't all have bacon do they?"
"It fell off and now there's bacon on all the bagels. How could I have noticed? It never would have occured to me to look for meat in my bread. Especially not pork in my stereotypically Jewish pastry."
Tonight
"I'm going to throw the bagels away."
"No more bacon bagels for you?"
"I'm not going to eat them. And I feel weird about..."
"They've just been sitting on the counter."
"Yeah. I don't think.. meat should sit on the counter like that."
We have so many questions and so few answers. I really hope there's someone in the bakery next time we're in the grocery store so I can ask someone who might know why on earth they chose to put bacon in a bagel.
