{ Saturday, November 03, 2007 }

Over Before It Started

So, this morning we went to look at more houses. We've only been at this since April. The first was everything we've ever wanted in a house, in a very desirable neighborhood that isn't precisely where we want to live, but would certainly do nicely.

The second was in a neighborhood we'd love to live in. Not much comes up in our prices range in either neighborhood, so we felt compelled to look. The house was fascinating. Not in any way that made us want to live there, but none-the-less fascinating. It was barren - no floors (just cement), some rooms missing baseboards, random lamp-thing mounted to a wall above an outlet... The living room contained a pass-through drafting table room thing with corkboard walls. The kitchen was clearly new and obscenely modern. You could see the back of the fridge in the hall closet. It was completely fascinating.

The third house was a fluke thing our realtor wanted us to see. It was not inspiring. Well, the meditation room was inspiring, and the way she had removed all the closet doors and had put a window between the bathrooms over the sink where one expects a mirror were a bit inspiring, but again not in a way that made me want to live there. The owner was there and that makes us uncomfortable. Plus there was this outbuilding thing where the seller's realtor's brother had lived for 18 months once, and they kept telling us all about how many amenities the outbuilding had and... we really just want to sign up to purchase and maintain one structure.

So, let's write an offer on the first house.

Now, you should know that I am trying really hard not to get invested in this house buying thing anymore. It's hard since we're talking about where I will live for the forseeable future and also that massive pile of debt that goes with, but I am trying not to get overly emotionally invested anymore.

The realtor kept saying "Third time's the charm," Drew kept saying "This is actually the fifth contract we've written," and I kept finding reasons to leave the table for a minute because buying a house is a really fucking hard thing to do evidentially.

So, we fill out the forms all over again. We look at calendars and talk about picking a close date like it won't just end up to be the day that I didn't get a house and the day that I didn't officially become eligible for puppy ownership. I continue to be stressed out and trying very hard not to get excited.

Drew is excited. Drew cannot imagine how this one will go wrong. We want the house. We'll pay for the house. The house has hardwood floors and a two car garage and three bedrooms and clearly this is Our House. He feels more confident than he did with the house of a thousand heartbreaks.

We drove past it the other weekend, the house that I continue to think of as mine. There was a person gardening in the front yard. We know they're renters, because no one can actually buy that house. None-the-less, I still find someone else living there to be a bit much. I did not stop and interrogate the guy about how awesome actually living there is or tell him our tale of woe.

So, we get excited. We inform our mothers that we made another offer, because we need to share our heartbreak.

Yeah, the seller? Is not so much a seller anymore. It went off the market today. They're not selling.

It's pretty depressing.

posted by mary ann 11:38 PM