{ Thursday, June 02, 2005 }

Dental Woes

Before I tell you about my teeth, while I'm remembering it, I just want to tell everyone that the new apartment has fat people toilets. They're so wide! I'm pretty sure I could accidentally fall in one if I don't pay enough attention when I go pee.

So, for two weeks and two days my mouth has hurt. Every single day. I went back to the dentist last Wednesday, because a week is too long to live like that. The dentist removed a bone spur, or root tip, something tooth-like from where the molar I had pulled two years ago used to be. He told me I would be fine in a couple of days.

Then, my mouth continued to hurt. And so I took aspirin.

Last night, I was in pain from my right eyeball to my jaw. This is no way to live. As recently as that afternoon, two aspirin and a bottle of wine had gotten me through the afternoon almost completely pain-free. (I took the day off work to clean the old apartment. I somehow managed NOT to spill any on the carpet.) Four aspirin and a beer gave me forty minutes of relief last night.

I chewed gum, and that helped for twenty minutes or so. For almost an hour, running my toothbrush along those teeth helped...

I called in to work this morning, and got myself a dentist appointment at one.

"I don't know what's causing it. I can't tell you where the pain is coming from. You messed with my teeth and I've been in pain since. This is no way to live. It hurts from here [my temple] to here [my jaw]."

[dentist lists five or six conditions: hot/cold, biting, etc.]

"Nothing makes it hurt more than anything else. Chewing gum helps. Aspirin and alcohol helps. My toothbrush helps. That's all I know."

He announced he was going to "run some tests". I sat there wondering what tests dentists run... it turns out they're the same ones the bone doctors run. They bang on things that hurt and take x-rays. Also, they make you bite on strange red paper.

"Ow. Okay. We've established that hurts me. I assure you the results will be the same everytime you take the blunt metal object and smack that tooth." He smacked it a couple more times anyway.

Then he informed me that my bite was off, and he was going to "manipulate" it. I was having visions of my dentist breaking my jaw when he went in with the drill. Then I was given a script for pain killers and one for antibiotics and instructed only to fill them if things got much worse between now and my next appointment on Monday (when I am to have the left side done).

I sobbed most of the way home. I was just in so much pain. I called my boss and explained that I wouldn't be in this afternoon afterall. He cautioned me to be careful, that painkillers also count for DUIs.

I sat at home for awhile, and felt the pain slowly decreasing. My temple didn't hurt anymore. My jaw was feeling better. My teeth fucking hurt, but now I knew which ones. My bite must've been off, and now I could tell what the secondary source of the pain was... two of the molars on top. Then I came to my senses and went out and got those pain pills.

I am sitting in my car parked downtown right now typing this, because there's free internet down here... And I have to go now, because I think I have about ten more minutes before I go out of my mind on the Vic0din.

Update 7:20 pm, from the wireless connection I can pick up using Steady's laptop and sitting on the stairs I am not out of my mind on the Vic0din. I actually cannot tell any difference between this and what I felt like an hour and a half ago when I took it. Someone tell me what I am doing wrong? (Home remedies for toothaches also appreciated.)

It feels like... like my teeth are severely bruised (when I close my mouth) or like they're being sucked out of my head (when my mouth is open). I've examined them at length with a make-up mirror and they look normal. They also look normal on the x-rays, I am told.

posted by mary ann 5:43 PM