{ Tuesday, April 19, 2005 }


The healthy life plan thing is going well, basically. It's really hard to eat all of those vegetables. The rest of it is really not so bad.

We've managed to spend two hours in the swimming pool, so we're right on target.

I don't feel better yet. I am tired at night, and that's nice. Otherwise, we're two days in and the only change so far is that I'm peeing quite often and I pooped on both Sunday and today.

I'm gonna talk about my bowels now. If that might bother you, you can just move along.

So, I've been constipated basically for my whole life. Michelle and I can remember being tiny children and getting treats, candy and stickers, from my grandmother for successfully pooping. Like, if the prospect of some peppermints were introduced, we'd suddenly choose to become regular.

There was nothing but fresh, whole foods in my childhood diet. Fruit, fruit juice, whole wheat bread, granola, and I was freakishly active. I should have been visiting the bathroom all the time. Instead, I was spending an eternity in there, just not very often.

Nothing changed when I switched to the processed diet and sedentary life of an impoverished young adult.

Best case scenario, I go twice in the same week. Sometimes, when I think about it, it strikes me that it has been more than a week since my last extended trip to the restroom.

I've never managed to isolate the causes. I'm pretty obsessed with fiber, but it's hard to decide that XXX is the cause of your constipation when you've never actually not been constipated. Apparently, everything backs me up.

This is all as horrible and painful as it sounds.

I've gone twice in the last three days. This is a major event in my life and I just wanted to document it. I am totally sold on this whole five servings of vegetables, an hour of excersize, loads of water thing.

posted by mary ann 7:25 PM