{ Monday, November 22, 2004 }


This morning at the unholy hour of six thirty am, I was having a very unpleasant dream that somehow incorporated the sounds of my alarm clock when the phone rang. (Unless you've lived with me, you would never actually believe the way I can sleep through an alarm clock...) Pratt was being the coolest and calling to help me not miss my dentist appointment. I probably cursed at him.

Then I turned off my alarm clock and got back in bed. I have absolutely no self-discipline where waking up is concerned. I don't know how other people make themselves do it. The bed is warm and comfortable and is a stress-free zone. I like it and want to stay there.

Half an hour later, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed. I sat down on the futon and wrapped myself up in a blanket. It's a gradual process. I was sitting up, only kind of in bed, and I was wearing glasses and looking at the internet and smoking. This is progress in my book.

Pratt called back to confirm that the wake-up call had taken. I think I cursed at him again, but less vehemently. I got dressed, spent three cycles of the monster toothbrush making myself presentable for the dentist and went to the car.

Somehow it takes about five minutes for me to get into my car. I don't know, but the clocks in the house match the cell phone and the clock in the car matches the cell phone and yet, it's always five minutes later when I turn on the car.

I'm always late. Everywhere I go. The fact of the matter is that I hate being early. I really don't like it. Waiting around is the pits. So, I'm always late. The dentist is of a different mind. They'll make you reschedule your appointment if you're late. I know because this already happened to me once.

I didn't realize I would be driving past the high school during drop-off time. A thousand years later, I am at the highway with twenty-two minutes to get to the dentist. It's only a dozen or so miles of highway. I can do this, and I will not smoke and ruin my pretty mouth.

Then, then, THEN, it started raining. No smoking. It will make your teeth filthy for the dentist. Fortunately, everyone didn't just stop immediately. They did, however, slow way the fuck down. So, a few minutes before eight, I was still at least six miles from the dentist. This just isn't going to happen. I am going to be late.

I immediately start worrying about what I will do if I am rescheduled and have to be early for work. I call Pratt. I make him look up my dentist's phone number. He is very nice about it, and for that, today, he's my favorite person. I call the office. I explain that it's raining and I am about to be late. I still don't smoke.

The girl has to ask the doctor if it's okay for me to be late. I am granted fifteen minutes to get to the office. Otherwise, I will have to go to work and come back another time. I wonder if that's fifteen minutes from right then (8:05) or fifteen minutes late overall. It's going to be close either way. Fuck it. I want a cigarette.

At 8:12, I've finished the cigarettes, and I am cursing the lack of gutters in this city as I hydroplane down the turn lane. At 8:14, I actually honk at the car in front of me at a green light. I don't have time for this nonsense. At 8:15, I am waiting to turn left into the parking lot. At 8:17, I am waiting to turn left into the parking lot and wondering if I should call back and tell them that I am less than twenty feet from the office and PLEASE don't cancel my appointment. At 8:18, I am sure I am going to run out of gas before I get to turn left.

At 8:19, I get into the office, not quite certain I have enough fuel to start my car again after the appointment. I was not cancelled. By 8:21, I was in a chair.

There were x-rays. The thing that you have to bite down on made me gag. I am a little tiny person with a little tiny mouth. Brushing my back molars makes me gag. The technician taking the x-rays didn't seem bothered that I kept gagging. She also cut up the insides of my mouth with those things. There were so many freaking x-rays.

Eventually, the dentist came. He was very nice to me, asked after my missing molars, the caps on my front teeth, etc.

We talked about the losing battle against OI and broken teeth. He agreed that there's no point screwing around with any portion of my mouth that does not absolutely have to be screwed around with.

I told him that I was already aware of the two giant gaping cavities in the back of my mouth, and I knew that this was going to be a process. He poked around and then confirmed this.

He was very funny about telling me that I need a root canal. "Well, those molars, unfortunately... they are pretty decayed... And at least one of them goes pretty far down... Possibly it is already dead and that's why it doesn't bother you..."

"Are you telling me I need a root canal? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Well, yes."

"That's okay. I figured."

"You're the most easy going patient I'll have all month."

"I've had them before. You only have to have so many broken bones before a root canal is really not a big deal."

So, I got that scheduled for December 7 at eleven am. It is going to be terribly expensive. Additionally, I am to see a peridontist? I don't even know what that is, but they tried to convince me to do that at, and I am not kidding, seven am the day after the root canal. I told that that was simply not going to happen. Eight am the morning after that then...

If I get to have two root canals, that will be all the dental work insurance pays for this year. Then at the beginning of 2005, I can have those five other teeth fixed. They're a little broken.

I don't know how I got this lucky.

The car did start when I got back out. I stopped for gas before I arrived at work, a mere half hour late, which is basically on time for me.

The Fine Print:

2003: No entry.

2002: "Y'all, I was trashed last night when he picked me up. And I continued drinking over at his place. And he was so cool about it. I feel kinda bad. But not really bad, because a drunk girl is better than a girl who can't stop shaking and crying about getting on a silly airplane."

2001: No entry

posted by mary ann 10:26 PM