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{ Wednesday, June 30, 2004 }

A Story.

 
I think I drove everyone I came into contact with in the last week absolutely crazy.

Fact: I need to write this shit down so I stop telling my boring stories to people over and over again until I figure out what about them is interesting. I do a much better job editing the whole mess before people have to listen/read.

Between the "repeating the boring story slightly differently because she's not quite satisfied with how it's coming out" and the "possibly telling the same thing to the same person without noticing and probably just not making any sense because she's mourning right now", I was probably very annoying.

Sometimes I could tell I was boring and I was pretty sure I'd already told someone this in the last, oh, five to ten minutes, but I couldn't figure out how to stop myself and exit gracefully from the line of conversation. Then I'd stammer and forget what I was talking about.

By Monday night, I'd begun to realize this and while I was revelling in how fucking nice everyone at the bar was, I remembered not to be completely self absorbed and I did my best not to tell any of my not-yet-funny stories. Not too many times at least.

Mostly, I really think this was a product of drinking too much and sleeping almost none and, you know, grieving. Also, though, I think I was not thinking clearly because I didn't write more than twenty-five sentences all week.

What I'm saying here is that I need to keep writing so I don't self-absorbed-bore myself out of friends.

Look for a real entry tomorrow.

posted by mary ann 2:30 PM


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