{ Tuesday, January 13, 2004 }

Working On It

Jeff read my last entry and immediately suggested something completely revolutionary... Perhaps I should clean my house, yard and car. He even went so far as to start explaining to me in what order and when I could go about this.

Naturally, I resented the hell out of being told what to do. I almost asked him if he remembered what my bedroom looked like in high school. Because that's sort of what my house looks like now, except, it's a whole house.

I can only be crazy for so long though. I laid around, I whined about the state of my work-life, I whined about the state of my house... after about three hours of solid wallowing during which no one asked me to do anything, I got a little tiny bit motivated. This happened around the time I would have otherwise started drinking.

I feel like someone should throw me a parade. I managed to throw out one of the pizza boxes in the living room. I took all of the dishes from the living room and put them in the kitchen sink. I emptied all the beer bottles that were sitting next to the sink.

I went through the mail. I wrote checks for the bills (with no utilties turned off) and balanced my checkbook as I went. I put stamps on the evelopes (using the book of stamps I bought in July and had not yet actually gotten around to using) and put them into the mailbox by the post office.

Then I went to Meijer and I purchased those stupid little letter holder things so we could put the mail in them going forward. I also bought a tension rod and a curtain for my bedroom so I wouldn't have to look at that stupid ugly window air conditioner any more.

I came home. I put up the curtain. I gathered the piles and piles of mail from around the living room and sorted it into Em's, mine, our bills, and other people's. I didn't go so far as to get the mail that doesn't belong to us marked to go back, but whatever.

I haven't done thing one about the kitchen, the trash, the recycling, my car, my laundry, the more than week long lack of toilet paper in the whole house, the no groceries problem, my bedroom, the yard, or most of what's got me so deeply into this funk. I can't find a lighter that works. I did find two weeks' worth of New Yorkers waiting to be read in and amongst the mail. And I did talk to that boy and I've decided maybe he's not avoiding me specifically.

I feel a little bit better about it all. I feel better about my job security, but worse about my job than I did this morning. I feel a little bit better about my house. Having found and paid the utility bills was a big step. Someone (Stalker Guy I am looking hard at you) needs to call me after seven pm tomorrow (Wednesday) and remind me to take out the recycling. Maybe by Thursday, I'll be ready to throw away that other pizza box....

posted by mary ann 10:01 PM