You cannot know the night I've had. Unless of course, you're Em and JV. They lived it with me.
So, JV had called when I got home. I called him back. "wanna buy me a drink?" "always" "I'll come get you" "naturally."
He came over. Em decided to come with. We left. JV said he wanted to go somewhere we'd never been.
We set out for Buffalo and Dad's. A respectable hole in the wall with the most amazing food ever. It was closed. The lights were on and the door was locked. The sign said they were open until eleven, but they weren't letting people in at 8:00 when we got there.
So we went to the bar on the corner by where I used to live. We parked. Em expressed her concern "This is where the murdered prostitutes end up. Like five of them have turned up dead right there"
We tried the door, it was locked. We started to leave. Then the door was unlocked and we were allowed in. The place was roomy and nice. Shocking really. The proprieter explained in ghetto-mumble that he was closed on Mondays. JV got the score on the game and off we went.
We decided to try Al's Bar. I'd been in there once or twice in the middle of the afternoon. Never at night. I didn't walk that far at night when I lived there.
Once we finally managed to determine how parking worked in the lot across the street (stop your car, get out, seemed to be the preferred method), we went in. The place was large and clean and full of working-class men in cowboy hats and boots. Something in Spanish was playing on the jukebox.
We meandered through. The bartender carded us. We ordered. She came back. No tonic water in this joint. I changed mine to a borboun and Coke. Poor JV had to drink Bud. Because this was a Budweiser bar. You may have: a can, a bottle, a draft, a half liter or a pitcher. And those are your options. All Budweiser all the time.
Em's a man magnet. I should explain that. And JV is highly socialable. Anytime we go anywhere, we meet everyone. And damnit if we're not all polite to every weird fucker who talks to us. Always.
There was the drunk man in coveralls. It was his birthday. He's forty-eight today. His mother's name is Mary. He told me that tonight Em was totally mine and for tonight we were lesbians. He really was pleased when I kissed her on the cheek after letting her know this. He had no cigarettes, but he did have a large bottle of booze in his pocket. When he shook the leg of his pants, a lighter fell out. His youngest son is older than me. He told me a lot more about himself, but I couldn't understand it.
At one point he handed Emma a knife. I don't know what that was about, but I intend to ask her tomorrow. He advised us to be safe and watch our backs. Over and over again. He gave me his brother's number or suggested I call 911. I didn't understand why because he didn't ever leave. We had a very long conversation about whether or not I was Dutch, once I had finished explaining my lack of Irish roots to him. He wanted to bet me money about it. I managed to decline.
Black Hat bought us many drinks. He didn't ask much by way of conversation. He and JV must've hit it off, but he didn't approach me and Em. At one point, he played some music for me in the Jukebox. I didn't have to refuse to dance though and that was good.
Morphing Names (we had been given four for him by the end of the evening) wanted to talk to me very urgently. He also bummed me a smoke. When I sat to try to talk to him, he had nothing to say.
Crank Addict (Coveralls told me that about him) tried to sell Emma purses. He was peddling his wares inside the bar. He was terribly convinced that I was Irish and Em was an Native American. I also think he was the one who begged two dollars from Em.
Angoo (I don't think any of us ever felt confident in what his name was) took a real liking to Em. He was quite concerned about her lack of desire to dance with him. I think he was the only person in the whole bar who did not bum smokes off of us. He chatted with her a really whole lot, but refused to buy her any tequila shots (my idea) because of something involving fighting with the police. Before he left, he showed us love letters from his girlfriend. He seemed to think Em was Chinese.
Poppa (that's what they called him) just kept eyeing me, but managed not to approach me or send me any drinks. For that, I thank him.
"That Bitch" earned her name. First, Angoo let Em take a shot while he was playing a game of pool. She immediately talked to the manager all "That's against THE RULES. It Causes Problems!" Then she kept trying to get the swarms of men to pay attention to her and not us. At some point, she was screaming about what the Spanish word for cigarettes was.
At another point, she was playing pool (I'm no decent pool player myself but I might could have taken her) and maybe she'd overheard Em and I discussing her outfit (I was calling her Sweatpants at this point, and Em was maintaining they were actually stretch pants). Maybe she was just jealous. Regardless, she sent TWO balls flying in Em's direction.
She said she was a better shot than that and if she'd meant to hit her, she would have. It was like fifteen feet from the pool table to us. It caused Em and I to turn to eachother and say in unison "That bitch hates (you/me)!"
Those were the most interesting characters that I remember during my many borboun and Coke evening.
There was some time during which Em and I did not see JV. I called his cell phone. Ring, ring, ring, ring, voicemail. I left him this distressed message. We waited some more. No JV. I walked around. No JV. It takes him like two seconds to pee. Where was he? How were we gonna get home?
It was at this point that I started leaving people messages. "Right now I am alive. Write this down. You may need it later. I am at Al's Bar at Sixth and Limestone. Em is with me. We are still alive. We have cab fare, and we might get home. There are so many aggressive men and so very few women here. We are afraid we will be raped and murdered. Both of us. Right now we are alive. JV was our ride and we think he left. If you get this, call me right that second. Now. Please. I am scared."
No one answered my distressed calls. The boy I am kinda maybe dating's roommate hemmed and hawed and I heard her humming like she was passing the time like she was just pretending to see if he was home. I haven't seen him in a week. So, maybe he's avoiding me. I am so much easier to avoid if you just tell me that's the plan.... Anyway, it made me wonder, but I don't know because he did call me back last night and perhaps I am just a beacon of insecurity....
I went (by myself, since I have lived and strolled in that ghetto and am too stupid to have lived for 23 years and not been shot and also Em had to watch our drinks and purses) checked. On my way to the car, I was offered a myriad of drugs by one guy. I declined. "I don't have any cash, and really, I'm straight." Then some other guy started hollering at me. I just walked til I could see the lot (it was just kitty-corner) and then half ran back. His car was still there. Then we had to wonder where he went. Was he dead? Abducted? Sick? How much stranger could this get?
JV came back. It turned out he is The Best and had just gone to get us both cigarettes. We hugged him as tightly as we could within the bar where we were the center of attention and drunk and afraid he was dead but not wanting to show those people our fear.
We left about fifteen minutes later. I'd had time to call back the most melodramatic messages and leave new ones explaining that our odds of leaving alive had gone way back up cause JV had come back for us.
Outside, Black Hat wanted JV's number. So, I gave him the first number I ever had in Lexington. The one I used to give to Crazies on the bus. Then we got in the car and drove home, just muttering about how completely bizzare the whole experience was.
