{ Wednesday, December 24, 2003 }

Last Minute Holiday Panic.

My mother was the voice of serenity when I called her this morning. I didn't know where I was supposed to meet her and furthermore, it had become apparent to me that I was going to do no such thing. A trip to Indianapolis was absolutely out of the question, no matter how entertaining the first few moments of Fresh Off The Plane Shelly really are.

I had to work this morning. I think I got precisely nothing accomplished. This is okay though because apparently my boss didn't know I was actually coming in (the calendar reads "Half Day Christmas Eve", but I guess maybe I was supposed to think this didn't apply to me.). He called my house at ten thirty this morning at home. While I was at work.

I managed to finagle a couple of hours in which to do a load of laundry. My laundry inertia runs deep. I managed to get the washer half loaded and then I actually almost sat down to smoke a cigarette before I went back to get more clothes (as though finding dirty clothes in my bedroom is some sort of challenge) and turn on the washer. I talked myself out of it and am now seated here in entirely very clean clothes. I thought it might be nice to have some clean underwear to take home with me.

Now I just have to decide on Christmas Morning Pajamas (in which history says I will be photographed), and then something to run around in all day and wear to Christmas Dinner. The agenda for tomorrow is still not set. If this comes a surprise to you, you need to pay more attention when I start writing about my family.

My first outfit choice for today was axed when I realized that Shelly might not know that I have those boots and she might want them back. So, they have to stay in Lexington. It's not a gamble I'm willing to take.

I don't think this turtleneck is making it's debut family party showing. I think I've decided that it looks good on me and so I don't care. I didn't wear it to Thanksgiving and I think that counts enough.

I didn't get to wash my hair. It will have to be done tomorrow, and it looks good enough for the Big Party tonight. There's enough video evidence of me with really bad hair that I don't think this one year when it had been some incalculable amount of time since it had seen the sudsing action of actual shampoo is really going to matter. As long as I don't get so drunk that I tell people, no one will ever know.

Last weekend I took a couple of baths, and somewhere along the way, I put conditioner in my dry hair. I got confused I guess. I don't know. I wasn't thinking, obviously. I just decided I was finished, so I put conditioner in my hair. Then I remembered the hair wasn't wet or washed. So, I let it sit for the precribed 3-5 minutes and I rinsed it out. So, now I don't know how long it's been. For sure I washed it the night I finished painting this room. When was that? Have I washed it since then? Does it matter?

I fibbed at work and left on the premise of picking up my sister at the airport in Indianapolis because I was stressed out about the days ahead. So, now I can't go to the mall here to do my eleventh and a half hour Christmas Shopping (one of these gifts I need to give, oh, tonight. And the other, tomorrow morning, before any break in my structured Christmas Timeline). So, now I have to stop at the mall in Florence so I don't risk getting caught not being in Indianapolis or Cincinnati.

The party is at six. It's at my uncle's house. The mall is on the way. I'm giving myself an hour to get one thing I have already decided on and another that I just don't care about anymore. If I can't manage this, I think we can all start to wonder if I am really, in fact, my mother's daughter.

Yeah and somewhere along the way I need to eat. I keep forgetting about eating. Yesterday around midnight I finally managed to get my shit together long enough to sit down and eat a broccoli pot pie. I had some brownies and cookies and chocolates and a hell of a lot of coffee at work. I don't know if I ate anything other than caramel popcorn on Monday. I'm sure I did, but Monday is long since forgotten.

In four hours, I aspire to be on my second cocktail and finally feeling the Holiday Spirit (I've had a few moments when I thought maybe it was coming, but really, I don't get festive until Christmas actually happens), and whatever is going to happen will rather ireevocable. Except, what SHelly and I are doing all day long on Christmas. That's never decided until after it's actually happened and we've reviewed the events and concluded on the final decisive version.

posted by mary ann 12:29 PM