I have to make this very quick. There are forty people coming to my mom's house tonight. They're due at six. I pointed out to Mom that we're usually nearly on time and we're never the first ones to arrive at these things. I think she's still planning for guests to arrive at six. Whatever. It's her family.
My mother and sister would both be much easier to shop with if I could either A) put them on harnesses or leashes or B) feed them adderall. Taking Mom into Wal Mart and Shelly in Target... wow. They were both waaaaay overstimulated. Of course, I nearly cried the first time I was in a Meijer (I was overwhelmed and lost. Shut up.).
Best toy ever to buy a three year old? Flashlight. Think about it. Yep, for five bucks you can totally outdo everyone else.
The dog is very happy to see me. I'm afraid she's gotten terribly old. Last night she couldn't even jump into my bed. I had to pick her up and put her there. I had to put her back on the ground this morning. Don't tell Mom. She doesn't let dogs sleep in beds. Julie's gotten her bath and now she needs a good brushing before people come.
Julie (that's the dog) is so tired. Apparently all that fetch last night wore her out. She doesn't know there are going to be children here tonight. Julie loves small children. Loves them. Pulling on her hair and everything. She totally adores it.
Last night was an interesting evening in our little house. Mom, Shelly, Shelly's best friend and I tried to determine just exactly where the line between "festive" and "tacky" lies and how close we can come to it without falling into tacky. I'm not sure we succeeded. Okay, this morning when I was hooking bubble lights to the aloe plants, I sort-of embraced the tacky. Mom was talking to one of her sisters this morning and said "My family room looks like everything our mom never let me do when we were decorating.".... This is what happens when you hamper your children's creativity. When they're fifty they put bubble lights on the house plants.
I haven't told y'all about The Guys. Or maybe I did last year. I don't know. I have "tapioca brain" (some clerk actually told my mother she did). The Guys are six little gnome, elf, dwarfy creatures with lightbulbs. They sit in the front window and blink. They're apparently very antique and special. I don't know. Mom loves The Guys. The Guys are pretty cool. They don't blink together. Actually they don't even each blink in a discernible pattern. They just light up and stop when they feel like it. Some days some of them don't blink at all.
I also learned last night that I am not able to cut fabric in a circle. I folded it into fourths and everything. I had to be demoted from lid cover-er to label sticker-er on the jellies.
This morning we dragged out Grandma's Soup Pot. It's one hell of a pot. Mom scrubbed it up and now we've got enough vegetarian vegetable soup simmering on the stove to feed a small army. It's amazing to me that fresh vegetables in water can taste that good. She also made vegetarian chili. I made (with supervision and instruction) devilled eggs. We used vegan mayonaise, but real eggs. Shelly's working on vegan sushi right now. There are also going to be chips and sandwhiches and stuff. We're mostly going for heart-smart here.
Last night Mom, Shelly and I learned that we all are huge fans of the cosmopolitan (which is weird, none of us are vodka drinkers). It was a real bonding point. So much so that we're going to be serving them tonight.
Apparently, it's going to snow tonight. This had better not put a crimp in my all-night hanging out with keledy plans. She's flying in to Cincinnati tonight. I hope the plane doesn't get like delayed or anything. Mom doesn't believe anyone should be travelling tonight. Be careful if you are.
My sister wants me to come and watch her make sushi now. Have I mentioned that I haven't smoked since 3:30 yesterday?? I'm really not quitting I don't think. But I am trying to beat the addiction. I don't think I believe in that "addicts are always addicts" thing for me. The aspiration is to get to the point where after twenty-four hours smoke-free I'm not like "I haven't smoked in twenty-four hours and I am going to cry if I don't get one". But I doubt I'll quit. Does that make sense?
Okay, I have to go watch my sister make sushi now so she'll shut up.
