{ Saturday, October 05, 2002 }

Catching Up.

Yesterday I caught up with my friend the green woman. We were talking about how neither of us smoked or drank or anything until we were seventeen. When I revealed that while I smoked when I was 11-13, I don't think that counted as smoking cause, well, it was stupid "I want to be cool" behaviour more than actually being a smoker, I didn't start really smoking until I was seventeen she replied

"you didn't start smoking til you were seventeen? I guess I just always imagined you as born with a cigarette in hand."

I thought that was very funny.

Anyway, we had a nice conversation full of giggles and snark. She's a camp girl whose inherit coolness is so underestimated by so many.

Sometimes I think we could be sisters. Or at least that I ought to have a sister like her. My sisters are very much alike to eachother, but not me. They're both really angry, kinda mean people. I like them a lot, but aside from "blunt" and "red haired" there aren't that many ways that we're alike. I understand the green woman. I know where she's coming from. Her personality and way of thinking are way more like mine than my sisters' are.

Plus she has this way of always making me feel like a cool big sister. That's something I never got to be. Shelly is only thirteen months younger than I am. I'm pretty sure that she stopped looking up to me somewhere around first grade. She was too busy trying to have an identity seperate from mine. Nikki is seven and a half years younger than me, but we never really spent that much time together. I mean, I was at college by the time she was nine. Shelly and Jess (her step sister who is eighteen) are her cool big sisters. I am the grown up one.

My camp girls always make me feel so wise. They don't make me feel old (like so many college freshman can). They make me feel cool and looked up to and wise.

posted by mary ann 10:44 AM