{ Sunday, September 22, 2002 }


Okay, so I haven't been around much. Sorry.

Last message from my mother, don't know how to write back, was short. It stated that she thinks I suffer from some sort of depression or social anxiety disorder and I ought to get that checked out. She is, afterall, a counselor. The only evidence of this she cited was that I stayed with Waste for so long. I don't even know how to respond to that. "Um, I stayed with him so long because I genuinely enjoy his company, and the not-having-a-job thing didn't seem so important in light of really liking him. And you didn't like him and that really made it all the more enjoyable."...

She only brings up the idea of me getting therapy when my actions do not meet with her approval. She asks me why I did something and I try to explain it to her. Then she decides that my reasoning is, in some way, a sign that I am depressed. I think she just really wants me to be depressed. And, yes, compared to her, I could see how I might be construed as having social anxiety and depression. Cause's she's extroverted and perky. I'm just not. I'm not saying that therapy wouldn't help me. I'm just saying that I think it's very interesting that she only brings it up when something I do (or don't do) pisses her off. Obviously, if my actions don't make my mother happy, this is a sign of a more serious problem.

She also made brief mention of the car, saying she doesn't want to keep the title in her name. I still don't know what is going to happen. Oh, and there was a line about how a "little recreational drug use" could seriously affect me, given my genes. I think that was her subtle jab at my father.

Moving on... what else is there to say? Wednesday night I got really drunk. Called a bunch of people. Left one poor guy eleven messages (by his count), called Stalker Guy, and who knows who all else. Yes, I called Stalker Guy. No, I don't know what I said. He won't tell me. He did call back though and let me know that I left a message. That came as a complete suprise to me. I talked to him again Friday night. He's still really annoying and I still don't want him in my life. I don't know why I called him and I don't even remember calling him.

On that note, if I left you a message or spoke with you Wednesday night, please e mail me and let me know.

Thursday I went to work. Friday I went to work. Friday night I stayed home and got drunk with people. Yesterday I hung out all day with Ellie and one of our friends. He was really good with the girl talk (he participated in it) and gave me a stellar massage. I drank some beer, which is not something that often happens. We went out to dinner and watched movies and what-not. I had a really scary experience with his driveway. He also lives on Insanity Street and it was dark and pulling in I couldn't really see where I was going and coming out, well, I had to pull out onto Insanity Street and he lives at a particularly poor spot for pulling out.

I haven't been able to sleep lately because I have all this pain in my mouth. It seems to be getting better though. I think it's wisdom tooth related.

I am working at least through Wednesday.

Today the cleaning bug bit me. Nothing serious, but the place is not fairly presentable.

And I think Waste is coming down to visit Thursday. Nothing is for sure, but that's what the plan looks like now.

That's all my news...

posted by mary ann 3:39 PM