{ Tuesday, April 23, 2002 }


Last night I worked an hour and a half late. I got all kinds of things accomplished.

See, I've decided that my sleeping habits have been affected by stress. I'm not going to bed on time because I am procrastinating about doing so many things. Getting much of the work related stuff finished really helped. Particuarlly considering that I am taking a week off here in a day.

That's I think where the stress is coming from. I have this huge to-do list and this serious time crunch.

Stress is my fastest demotivator. I get overwhelmed and shut down. Like I leave work thinking about all the things I still haven't quite finished and I get home and I see all the mess and I realize I have no food in my house and then I can't bring myself to get up and go to the bank and do some cleaning. It's a viscious cycle.

And now I am trying to break it. I'm in a funk and it's a "my house is dirty. my desk is cluttered with unfinished work. my plans are uncertain." related funk. I am trying to be proactive. I am making lists. I am accomplishing things. Granted, after the bonus hour and a half last night, I couldn't bring myself to do anyhting once I got home, but still I slept a little better and got up a little easier (with less of my disorganized life stress) knowing that I was finished with many tasks.

Tonight though I doubt I get to sleep... I have 80 million errands to run and a house to clean. I can't stand leaving a messy house behind when I go out of town. Nothing is more despressing than coming back from a trip to a messy house.

I crave organization and responisbility and all that. It makes me happy when I have it and unhappy when I don't.... but I am just so easily overwhelmed....

posted by mary ann 9:46 AM