{ Monday, August 07, 2006 }

How To Make Your Hair Resemble a Wig

Seriously. My hair. It looks (and feels) like a not-very-convincing wig. If I were less vain, there would be a picture to testify to this. Instead, I'll just tell you that the cats and the boyfriend totally agree.

How did I acheive this look? Stupendous neglect.

  1. Last haircut: I think, um, October of 2005. I don't know; for sure last year. There's no good reason for this. Except that I was trying to grow it out. It's now quite long. Almost to my waist when pulled straight.

  2. Last encounter with shampoo: Sometime more than a week ago.

  3. Last encounter with a hair brush or comb: um... I can't seem to find any lately. So, let's say two weeks. That sounds about right.

  4. Time spent picking apart my white girl dreads/matted curls with my fingers this afternoon: approximately one hour. My arms were very tired.

  5. Bad Chemicals: I followed that with a nice, long swim.

  6. Finally, Product: And then... I put in some Wind Down cream in an effort to coat my hair in silicone so it wouldn't be crunchy. I did not rinse the pool water out of my hair first, effectively sealing the chemicals on my hair. The good news is that the application of product required that I actually finger-comb out all of the tangles and not just the biggest ones.

That is how you, too, can acheive a not-very-convincing-wig-like look on your own head.

Okay, fine. I took, like, twenty pictures of myself just now trying to get one that illustrated the bad hair without being: blurry, really blurry, completely comprised of the flash, or featuring me looking terrible. (I do not know why my boyfriend cannot take a decent photo of me, but he can't.)

So, mary ann at one am in her pajamas with her wig-hair. Just for you.


posted by mary ann 12:46 AM