Home Alone with Mary Ann
I just set off the smoke detector boiling water. It's the first time I'd heard it. It's really really loud. although I do think I could sleep through it. Also, it goes off in the other two apartments too.
Additionally, I was stark naked at the time. And basically unable to do much more than shuffle.
"SHIT! Okay! That's the smoke detector. Go turn off the water. Does the alarm go off in the other apartments? Yes, I think they said it does. Shit. Mom would tel me to fan the air around the detector and make it go off. What? I can't move my arms like that. It might be one of those that only the fire fighters can turn off. I'll just leave it alone.
"Okay, gotta go turn off the water. Then get outside. You're supposed to be evacuating, this is a fire drill. Oh dear. I have no clothes on. I can't run outside naked, it's ten fifteen in the morning. I have to put clothes on. Where's my robe?
"I need to stand up. What do I do first? I'd better turn off the stove. Then find my robe. Then get outside. I hope this isn't wired directly to the fire department. I don't want the fire fighters to come busting up here and find me standing at the stove naked while that noise is happening. That would be embarassing. The neighbors hate me. Okay, the stove is closer, and I can't walk..."
I turned it off, put on my robe and the second I stepped onto the porch, the alarm stopped. It does not appear that anyone else in the building was home or that the fire fighters or even the leasing office has found out that I tried to make Riblets (they're the most wonderful thing in the entire Gardenburger line) by myself at ten am on a Wednesday.
posted by mary ann 10:20 AM