{ Thursday, January 20, 2005 }

The Anatomy of a Mess

This might take a long time to load. Sorry. It's a photo essay. Because someone (who is on dial-up) told me I'm getting boring. So, you get text and pictures. Rare pictures of my home.

So, Emma and I live in a messy, messy apartment. As recently as Saturday, it was merely a slightly messy place.

mary: Would you be bothered if I put pictures of our messy apartment on the internet?

Em: No. That's fine.

mary: Okay, just thought I'd ask.

Em: Since when do we have any shame, either of us?

Here is the area immediately surrounding where I am sitting:

What happened here? You might be asking yourself... Well, you sit in front of the computer and things accumulate around you. That's what happened. Yeah, and that paper is, in fact, the stencil from my cat's Halloween costume. But, see how we managed to get it up off the floor? That counts. Shut up. It does.

But that doesn't look so bad, really. The trash is ready to go to the dumster, someone just has to get motivated to take it there. And the phonebooks are near the phone. That makes sense.

This is what I walked over to get to the computer. It's sideways. If I get motivated, I might fix that later...

Em: But we burn more calories walking around this way.

mary: What way?

Em: Stepping over the mess. It's good exercise.

Shit, not wait, that's the area on the way to the washer and dryer. I only thought it was right next to me because they look rather similar and also that blue table used to be over here, but apparently, we moved it at some point. That's another big mess creator that we'll get to later, we tend to move the furniture around to suit our current needs.

This is the area immediately to the right of the doorway:

I see that it's blurry, but I think that just adds to the effect. Also, I am very very very lazy. As is evidenced by the simple fact that I am taking pictures of the mess instead of cleaning it up. If you look closely, you can see the number one thing I do to make a mess on the floor: I leave my shoes absolutely everywhere. I wear different shoes everyday and then they sit on the living room floor. You could really impale yourself on those and do some damage.

You can also see the chair that exists purely to hold clothes that are removed in the living room. That's another source of the problems; we both tend to change clothes all over the house and then just drop what we were wearing before.

The futon:

This is where we hang out. It's also where poor Emma is sleeping. I don't know what else to tell you besides that it suffers from the same problems as the rest of the house: so many clothes and blankets and pillows and cigarette packs and purses instead of shoes.

You might also notice the coffee table. It basically always looks like that. I don't think it's that bad. Maybe it is. Steady (that's what we're calling the boyfriend, remember?) came over on Saturday and he didn't seem able to tell that the house was clean...

Emma and her beads (buy some earrings! Help us pay the rent!):

Yesterday, that was all cleared out when we moved the chair and the coffee table and the pink table and the ironing board and lots of other things out of the way (without putting anything away, naturally) so we could do the aerobic striptease.

So, that mess is merely temporary.

This is my bedroom. I don't know what I can tell you about it. Clothes, clothes, clothes, cigarettes, basically, I'm really, really gross... Also, lazy. They're sideways. Again, I might fix it later if I get motivated.

But no one sees that but Emma and Steady and me. That's actually true of the rest of the house as well. So, that's how I live. My mother would instruct me to hang my head in shame...

And I'll leave you with our Not That Gross Kitchen, Shut Up, It's Not. Someone who's been to a place where Emma and I lived leave a comment praising the not that bad-ness of the kitchen. Please.

Oh shit, I forgot about the bathroom counter.

We're girls. And on Saturday this was immaculate. But that's how it happened, two girls shared a bathroom for five days. And we're busy girls. Look how cute the shower curtain is! I got that at the $.99 Store. It's so cute!

posted by mary ann 6:31 PM