{ Monday, February 10, 2003 }


[This has been edited to add a lot of stuff since this morning]

Writer Guy and I broke up. His idea. But I had to bring the subject up.

I'm okay. I really am. It began yesterday and officially ended this morning with an e mail from him. I'm not going to go into the specifics right now. Mostly because I don't understand them. But it's okay. It really is. I wish y'all could see me or hear my voice or something right now. Because then you'd know this isn't me trying to be strong, this is me really being okay. I don't understand but I don't feel terribly bad about the whole thing.

I can't decide what I am going to do about being single. After a good long time spent talking with Kristie (who has never had a Valentine, by choice) about exactly what it is that single girls do for Valentine's Day and getting plenty excited at the prospect of wearing my pajamas and getting drunk alone at home... then I thought about what my latest declaration of independence shall be.

Should I cut my hair like I've been talking about doing for a month? Should I maybe just dye it again, it is rather two-tone? Should I find someone random from the past and give 'em a call? Should I get drunk in the middle of the day? Should I... oh what getting dumped gives a girl cart blanche to do!

In the end though, I just wasn't feeling it. I got dressed, bought some cigarettes and laid down with a book. Although, I did just look up an old friend's number and I'm thinking I'll give her a call....

And if you've never felt like this, you should count yourself very lucky.

posted by mary ann 10:37 AM