No Rain

 

This morning the top headline on the local newpaper's website says "Slim chance of rain today is last expected in Phoenix until June". The article goes on to mention that, hey, we haven't had any rain since February 22. I hadn't even noticed that there hadn't been any rain since February, but I had noticed that the air was awfully gross. That's 73 days already.

I think mostly I've just all been relieved about the incredibly mild spring we're having, temperature wise. Now I'm sad about the rain thing though.

Also, I didn't mention it here, but I got a job. I now have an eighteen mile commute each way, so I guess I ought to be happy that there's no rain. The last time I had a commute, a sprinkle would easily triple the time spent commuting...

posted by mary ann 7:59 AM

Why????

 

Last Night:

"I need a snack."

"What are you going to have?"

"I don't know. Do you have any suggestions?"

[and we dither]

"I know! We have bagels! And brie! Do you want one?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want a whole one or half of one?"

"If you have a half, I'll eat the other half, but if you want a whole one, I can have a whole one too."

I go into the kitchen.

"Cheese or plain?"

"Are those the only options?"

"Yes."

"Cheese."

I cut a cheese bagel in half and throw it in the toaster. It comes out. I slather brie on one half and take it to Drew. I am working on the second half...

"Are you sure there's just cheese on these bagels?"

"What? I think so. The bakery was closed when we got to the grocery, remember? I just grabbed a bag of 'assorted bagels'. Why? What do you think is on there?"

I begin inspecting my half of which I have not yet had a bite...

"Is this..."

"Bacon? Yeah I think so."

"Ewewewewew. And Boo!" (You should know if you're new around here that I am a vegetarian.)

"Yeah, why? Why would someone do that? What would make you think to put bacon in a bagel?"

"Well, here. You get a whole bagel. And all the brie."

"I'm not sure I want it."

"Now what am I going to snack on?"

"They don't all have bacon do they?"

"It fell off and now there's bacon on all the bagels. How could I have noticed? It never would have occured to me to look for meat in my bread. Especially not pork in my stereotypically Jewish pastry."


Tonight

"I'm going to throw the bagels away."

"No more bacon bagels for you?"

"I'm not going to eat them. And I feel weird about..."

"They've just been sitting on the counter."

"Yeah. I don't think.. meat should sit on the counter like that."


We have so many questions and so few answers. I really hope there's someone in the bakery next time we're in the grocery store so I can ask someone who might know why on earth they chose to put bacon in a bagel.

posted by mary ann 8:06 PM

How to Alienate a Whole Bar

 

Karaoke Little Plastic Castle in a bar in Scottsdale. I think "like lipstick is a sign of my declining mind" is the pointat which I completely lost the audience. Em and I are signed up to sing Galileo as a duet and I suspect that will go over just as big.

posted by mary ann 11:43 PM

Two Things

 

1) If you can believe such a thing (I nearly couldn't), as of yesterday, my husband did not know what a deviled egg was. I showed him a picture and he assured me he had never eaten anything resembling that.

I made some today (just three eggs worth). I totally love deviled eggs, so it was no great loss when Drew only took one bite of one before declaring that he didn't really like them.

2) I am watching Miss USA right now, and it's the evening gown competition. I understand that in the realm of Miss USA, there are a lot of problems. But what I really want to know is...

Were slips specifically verboten? Because the first time I saw a woman clearly in need of a slip walk across the stage, I may have made some comment about how clearly they don't have mothers in her state given that apparently no one taught her about the importance of wearing appropriate undergarments on stage on NATIONAL TELEVISION. (Drew is playing video games and wearing headphones, so I mostly was discussing this with Mondale and the television... I may have gotten married, but that barely makes me any less of a cranky old cat lady inside.)

I mean, you've already pranced around in your bathing suit. We all already know how awesome your legs are. Now's the time for modesty. They're supposed to be EVENING GOWNS, which are not traditionally see-through. I understand, in some way, why you want a slit up to your neck on the side... okay, I totally don't, but whatever, that's not my point. It's not remotely classy to be running around in a SEE-THROUGH DRESS.

posted by mary ann 9:09 PM

RIP, Dr Runge

 

This morning I happened to be looking at the Cincinnati news to get information about the flooding there...

Dr Runge passed away.

A child with as many broken bones as I had could easily become frightened of the ortho doctor. I was afraid of some doctors, and I thought others were mean. Not Dr Runge. He was always so very nice to me, and genuinely concerned that I have a quality of life while recovering from a broken bone.

When I was in second grade and I broke something in my heel, he didn't make me wear a cast so I could still go swimming. When I was in fifth grade and I broke my hand the night before I was supposed to go get a clean bill of health for the foot I'd broken a couple months before, he went ahead and gave me a pass to go back to dance class with a cast on my arm.

Dr Runge was the only doctor I have ever really, genuinely believed when he read my x-rays. It got to where we were skipping the ER and going straight to his office for my broken bones, because I'm not sure the ER doctors ever read one of my x-rays correctly. They'd find one break when there were five or diagnose a broken bone as a foreign body in the foot and so on. Dr Runge would get the x-rays and yell or laugh at the people who didn't get it right and patch me back up.

He never set one of my bones unless it was absolutely necessary. He never restricted my activities if he didn't have to. He'd explain to Mom and me exactly what was wrong in a way that I could understand. And then he'd put a cast on me, encourage me to be as active as possible and send me on my way. I don't think he ever told me I should be more careful, just more active.

Dr Runge was the best doctor I ever had. He will be missed.

posted by mary ann 8:31 AM